


The Bride of Wechtenstein

by vivisextion



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Egobang - Freeform, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Frankenstein AU, Ghoul Grumps, Igor!Ross, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mad Scientist!Brian, Making Out, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Monster!Arin, Monster!Dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-12 10:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11734722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivisextion/pseuds/vivisextion
Summary: Dr Brian Wechtenstein, PhD, and his monster, Arin, lead an idyllic life in their Transylvanian castle. But Arin grows lonely, wishing for a companion. His creator is only too happy to oblige. The result? Dan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you like Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein, you're in for a treat.

Arin had been moping around the lab for days.

Dr. Brian Wechtenstein, PhD, was in the middle of a Very Important Experiment, but he always had time for his creation. He put on his best nurturing parent face and approached Arin, who had been staring longingly into a jar of pickled brain.

Arin was almost a year old now. He was usually eager to help, and handy around the laboratory, once he’d gotten control of his limbs and didn’t knock glassware over in fits of clumsiness. But lately, he seemed to have lost some of his spark, oftentimes staring off into the distance, even sighing wistfully.

“What’s wrong, my little abomination?” Brian said with a paternal air, putting an arm around him. “I could polish your neck bolts. That always cheers you up.”

The boy gave a mournful nod. Brian fetched a soft flannel and some metal polish, and started to buff Arin’s neck bolts.

Arin giggled. “That tickles, Dad.”

“Now, what’s bothering you? You can tell your old man.”

“It’s just… I’m the only one like me in the world. I want a friend. Someone like me.” He looked up at Brian with big, puppy dog eyes, albeit mismatched in colour (one baby blue, one citrine yellow). "Will I ever find love, Dad?”

“Only child syndrome, huh?” Brian chuckled. “A friend is well and good, but the other thing - well, I’ll explain consent to you when we get to it.”

He whipped out a notepad. “Lucky for you, I might have just the thing. We could even customise your ‘friend’ to your heart’s content. What’ll it be?” Brian pulled out a pencil that had been stuck behind his ear.

“Um…” Arin wracked his brain hard. “Soft, fluffy hair that’s nice to pet.”

“Very well.” Brian scribbled furiously.

“And maybe… maybe big, beautiful brown eyes.”

Brian’s pencil scratched away at top speed. “Sounds lovely.”

“And um, kissable lips? Is that a thing?”

“I can do that.”

“And maybe, they could have an enormous, uh…” Arin made vague gestures with his hands, miming something Brian couldn’t make out.

“What?” Brian looked up from his notes, curious.

“Schwanzstucker,” Arin blurted out, blushing.

Brian looked thoughtful. “That goes without saying.”

Arin’s eyes glazed over, lost in more daydreams. “Woof.”

Biology was such a quirky thing, Brian reflected. Arin had such a distinct personality, such interestingly specific preferences. Perhaps they had been left over from a previous life?

“I’ll get right on it, my boy,” Brian promised.

* * *

Finally, finally! The day came when a huge thunderstorm ripped across the sky, threatening to destroy everything in its path. Perfect reanimation weather. Brian had been working on his new project for weeks now, and couldn’t wait to unveil it to his creature. Arin was on edge with anticipation.

“Close your eyes. It’s a surprise,” Brian told him. Arin obeyed, as Brian led him by the hand into the lab, trying not to trip over anything.

When he opened his eyes, he was looking at a figure draped in white, lying on Brian’s surgical table.

“Would you like to have a look before we begin?”

He nodded. Brian grasped the shroud and tugged it away with a flourish, like a magician revealing his best trick.

Arin took one look at it, and fell in love.

It was possibly the most beautiful sight he had ever beheld in his short life. His mouth gaped open, staring in disbelief. He thought he might swoon.

The slender body that lay on the table was covered in bandages from the neck down, but the head was exposed. Arin gazed at the face, slackjawed. It was a work of art. High, angular, cheekbones, with plush, full lips and a powerful jawline, a hint of stubble about it. There was the huge head of curls he asked for. Arin ran his hand through them. It was so luscious, so soft to the touch. Its eyes were closed, and looked as though it were just sleeping.

He laid a stitched-up hand on the creation’s cheek. “He’s so gorgeous,” Arin whispered.

“We’ll need an extra pair of hands,” Brian said, fixing the diffuser bands into place over the body in preparation for reanimation. He was already wearing his customary lab coat, and goggles for safety.

Arin blinked. “There’s some in the basement, Dad.”

“I mean, you’ll need to help Ross. Ross! Stand by the roof! Ready the diffuser!” Brian yelled to his lab assistant, who shuffled in, dragging his feet.

“Yes, Master Brian,” he rasped hoarsely. Ross lurched up the stone stairs to the roof of the laboratory, and cranked a winch until opened up. A rig bearing a massive, coiled machine lowered until it was just above the surgical table, ready and waiting.

Above them, thunder cracked its powerful whip, booming all around them, and Arin jumped.

“Just like old times, eh, pal?” Brian shouted over the noise at him, beaming, while twiddling the knobs and dials on his equipment. He adjusted the settings, his deft hands moving like a master pianist. “Get up there and give Ross a hand.”

“Do you want me to go get-”

“Arin, I meant help him with the kites.”

“Oh! Right.”

“It is time, Master Brian,” Ross croaked down at the mad scientist.

Brian glanced at him with a quizzical expression. “Why are you talking like that?”

“Oh, sorry. Sore throat.” Ross coughed, and his voice went back to normal.

On the roof, the sound of the storm whipping around them was deafening. Arin could barely hear himself think, let alone Ross’s hollered instructions, as they readied the kites that were to conduct the electricity needed for Brian’s experiment to work.

“Up with the kites! Let them go!”

They obeyed Brian’s command. Once the kites were up, Ross took control of them, tethering them to the spot.

“I’ve got it! Go say hi to your new boyfriend!” Ross shouted, as the cacophony of the tempest grew.

“Thanks, Ross!”

Arin rushed back down the stairs, almost tripping over his own feet in his excitement, not wanting to miss any of the action. Brian was waiting for him.

“I thought you should be the one to do the honours!” Brian patted the lever which would throw the whole thing in motion. “Are you ready?”

It suddenly occurred to Arin that he hadn’t the slightest clue how to court the mate he’d requested.

“W-wait, Dad, I don’t know how to… to, uh-”

“I’ll give you the birds and the bees talk later! Now pull the lever!’

Arin gulped, then nodded. He gripped the switch in one sweaty hand, and wrenched it down with all his might.

Such crackling of electricity as Arin never heard in his life ripped through the air. It frightened a deep, primal part of him. The thought that they were defying nature alone made his neck bolts tingle. The diffuser was filled with the pure, distilled essence of lightning, conducting thousands of volts of electricity into the finely crafted body below it. The lights flashed on and off erratically, casting eerie shadows on the stone walls.

“Give my creature life already,” muttered Brian.

As suddenly as it had begun, it was all over. Machinery all around them slowed to a halt, whining as the equipment deactivated. The diffuser sparked a few times, then stayed silent.

“It’s done.”

The world has gone silent. Arin had eyes only for the figure on the table, which was much too still. The surge of electricity had made the creature’s hair even poofier than before, and just like Arin, it now had a shock of white hair. Arin touched his own lock of it, thinking, _now we match._

He willed it to move with all his heart, which was currently pounding away in his throat.

Having winched the roof shut, Ross limped down the stairs, hobbling over to the operating table. Brian peered at him, puzzled.

“Why are you walking like that?” his supervisor asked.

“I sprained my ankle playing tennis.”

“Oh. Well, remove the diffuser bands, and hurry.” The doctor was carefully detaching them from the table. Once they were all off, the table was tilted upright, and they waited with bated breath.

Then, ever so subtly, bandaged fingers began to twitch.

Arin gasped. “He’s alive! Alive!”

Brian and Ross high-fived. Ross began whooping and cheering, but was quickly shushed.

“Don’t scare him.”

Arin had lost the power of speech, so captivated was he by this stunning specimen before him. He thumped his chest to remind his lungs to work. Gently, he brushed strands of hair, standing on end with static, away from its face, and felt the electric charge nip at his fingers. He held the creature’s hand in his. Its eyes were not yet open.

“Can you hear me?” Arin asked softly.

Suddenly, a pair of brown eyes flew open, wide open, and blinked.

“Hey, they actually match this time,” Ross piped up.

Arin couldn’t speak. He stared into the eyes of Brian’s creation, feeling his heart melt inside his ribcage. _They’re so beautiful,_  he thought. They were the colour of deep caramel, of honey on a summer’s day. He was completely lost in them.

The eyes began to dart around the lab, as the creature took in its surroundings. Then, slowly, it began to look around, head moving jerkily from side to side. Its gaze found the hand currently clasping its own - tinged green and covered in stitches - and let out a horrifying screech.

Arin recoiled, letting go at once. Brian rushed forward. 

“Don’t worry. You did the same thing when you first woke up.” Brian patted it on the head, calming it with shushing noises. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s me, Brian. You’re just waking up now, I know it’s a bit of a shock.”

Behind him, Ross groaned. “You’re already busting out the dad jokes on it?”

Brian ignored his assistant. “I know it’s scary, but it’s all gonna be okay.” Brian told it, in his most soothing tone. “Do you remember what your name is?”

“D-” The creature tried to talk, but sounded as though its voice has rusted over. “Da-”

“Is he trying to say ‘Dad’?” Ross offered, trying to be helpful.

“Shut up, Ross.”

“Sorry, Master Brian.”

The creature shook its head and tried again. “Daa-”

“Darren? David? Daniel?” Arin guessed.

It nodded. “Daaan,” it groaned in a husky voice.

“Well, hello, Dan,” Brian gushed. “Welcome to your life.”

Dan tried to raise his arms, but his muscles were stiff and unused. Arin took his hand and tried to pet it in a comforting gesture.

“He won’t have full control over his voice for a while,” Brian told Arin. “You took a whole week to start saying short sentences. But he’ll be talking in no time. I should know, I gave him the vocal cords of a glam metal singer.”

“Dad, what if… what if he doesn’t like me?” Arin asked, in a hushed tone, face full of worry.

Brian saw this and clapped Arin on the back, laughing. “Son, you will find that love, like science, has her little surprises, as you shall see. Now, go show him his new room. Remember, no overwhelming the poor guy, alright?”

With the help of Ross, Arin wheeled a gurney bearing Dan to an uninhabited room in Brian’s castle, next to his, since Dan hadn’t regained power in his legs. While Brian had been busy putting Arin’s new friend together, Arin had been decorating the room for his arrival. He’d put new bedding on the four poster bed, cleaned the windows like a professional, and dusted everything to within an inch of his life. He’d also put together some spare clothes, organised in the closet and folded into a neat stack in the antique dresser. And just to make it feel more like home, he'd set up his spare SNES in the corner.

Both of them heaved the newly animated body onto the bed. Arin fluffed the pillows and gently rested the boy onto them, making him as comfortable as possible.

“Have fun unwrapping your present.” Ross winked, just before he closed the door behind him.

Arin rolled his eyes. “Goddammit, Ross.”

Arin began to slowly undo Dan’s bandages. Dan was largely unresponsive, but glanced at Arin and the room with wide, frightened eyes. _Probably trying not to freak out,_ Arin assumed.

“Dan, this is your room. This is where you stay.” He talked to Dan in a quiet voice, as though he were a fragile woodland animal, trying not to startle the other boy.

“I’m just taking these off you so you can get comfy, okay?”

He peeled them off one hand first, revealing a pale, well-crafted hand, engineered for dexterity. Arin held it up and marveled at it.

“You have very nice hands,” he told Dan, smiling. Biting his lip, unsure, he decided to chance it and press a kiss to the back of Dan’s hand. Dan blinked in surprise, but did not pull away, and Arin heaved a sigh of relief.

He carried on unwrapping the bandages, and found neat, raised lines of stitches on Dan’s neck, running parallel to his jaw and up into his hairline. He continued, and discovered to his delight that Dan had lean arms and shoulders. Unraveling the bandages further on Dan’s torso revealed a large, Y-shaped scar with more of the same neat stitching. For the first time, Arin noticed the creature’s exquisite clavicles, and could not help but reach a hand out to stroke them with his fingertips. Dan flinched, and he desisted.

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you,” Arin assured him, while trying not to ogle at the rest of Dan’s upper body. He didn’t want to come across as a pervert to his new friend, after all.

Just to put off the embarrassment of having to unbandage Dan’s pelvis, Arin moved to start at his feet instead, finding that they were as lovely as Dan’s hands, arched with long toes. Dan had funny little knobbly knees, too. Eventually, holding Dan’s calf in one hand, Arin attempted to remove the bandages from Dan’s upper thigh, going red in the face as he did so.

“I’m going to have to take them off, your, uh…” Arin waved at Dan’s lower body in a frantic motion, eyes fixed on the bulge in the bandages. “It might be a bit weird, just bear with me, okay?”

He swallowed nervously, then resumed, picking up a pair of scissors to aid him. As he snipped the remaining bandages off, he had to stop himself from petting the prominent crests of Dan’s hipbones. And then, all the wrappings came undone to reveal-

“Oh my god.”

Arin clapped a hand to his mouth. Dan stared at him in confusion.

True to his word, Brian had indeed given Arin the best gift of all.

 _After this, I’m going to hug my dad so hard,_ Arin thought.

Overall, though they were the same height, they were built along different lines, Arin observed. Arin was hefty, constructed as a testament to the strength of Man, powerful enough to lift the heaviest of machinery for his creator. His frame was towering, impressive. He was a big boy, as his creator often said, though he felt his bulk often occupied more space than he was comfortable with. Dan, on the other hand, was elegantly sculpted, delicate and fine-boned. His stature was willowy, made of sleek lines. He was clearly designed for the performance of intricate tasks, for efficient and graceful movement.

Once he’d picked his jaw off the floor, he got up to retrieve clothes for Dan. _Something easy to wear,_ Arin considered, while rooting through the closet. He fished out a casual kimono robe, which Dan could slip on easily, and the silk wouldn’t chafe against the fresh stitches as much. It was light blue, with a sakura flower pattern, and probably belonged to a much younger Brian.

“I’m just going to help you into this. If that’s okay with you.”

Dan nodded. So far he seemed to comprehend what Arin had said, which was a great sign that his brain was online. Arin helped him put his arms through the sleeves, eventually pulling it together and tying it around Dan’s narrow waist.

“That better?” Arin asked, smiling at Dan, who nodded again. “I think you probably want to rest now. It’s been a big day for you, huh. I’ll just leave you to-”

He stopped short when Dan reached out a hand and grasped at his sleeve, holding on tight. However, the simple exertion was too much for Dan, whose arm immediately dropped back onto the bed, dead weight once more.

“Do you… do you want me to stay?” he asked, his voice hesitant, unsure, but hoping, daring…

Dan nodded, and his heart leapt. He climbed onto the bed with Dan, pulling the duvet up to cover both of them, making sure Dan was warm enough.

“I’m not going anywhere. See? I’m right here if you need me.”

Dan’s eyelids began to slowly droop shut with exhaustion. For one heart-stopping moment, Arin thought he had left the land of the not-quite-living, but Dan’s chest rose and fell with the rhythm of deep breathing.

Arin lay next to him for a while, not wanting to take his eyes off the wonderful creature in bed with him. He could hardly believe how lucky he was. He carefully stroked strands of stark white hair away from Dan’s face.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, as Dan dozed.

As much as he wanted to, he refrained from being too close to Dan, remembering Brian’s warning about not letting him experience too much at once. For now, he was content just to admire from a distance, and he fell asleep gazing at Dan’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan, newly created, learns about the important things in his world, such as detached hands, Australians, and boo-boos.

Arin sat on the floor with his new friend, cross-legged. He’d been trying to teach Dan some simple words, while Dan tried to remember how to use the English language.

“Skittles,” Arin enunciated, holding up a red bag. He shook it, and a few brightly coloured pieces of candy fell into Dan’s hand. Dan promptly tossed them into his mouth without hesitation, and chewed. A big smile spread across his face as fruity flavours assaulted his new tastebuds.

“Skittles,” Dan repeated happily. “Good.”

“Yeah! You got it.” Arin picked up a green can next. “Monster.”

Dan pointed at Arin instead, brows knitted together in a concentrated effort. “Monster.”

“No, ya big dummy, the _drink_ is called Monster. You drink it. See?” Arin demonstrated, tilting the can to his mouth. “You try.”

“Monster.” Dan took a sip, making a face. “No good.”

Arin then pointed to himself, and said, “Arin. Not Monster. Arin.”

“Aaahren,” Dan attempted.

“Close enough.” Arin chuckled. “Well, we’re getting somewhere. Uh…” Arin glanced around Dan’s room. He booted up the SNES, reaching over to grab the controller and fitting Dan’s hands around it.

“Game,” Arin said. He showed Dan a cartoon figure of an Italian plumber with a moustache on the television screen. “Mario.”

Dan nodded, mouth open in wonder. “Maaario,” he concurred. “Good.”

“Wow, Dan. You’re catching on fast!” Arin smiled at him, proud. He decided to try something, reaching a hand out to the other boy.

Dan, puzzled, grasped it and held on, staring blankly at his new friend.

“You shake it. That’s how you say hello.” Arin showed him a handshake, careful not to jostle Dan’s new hands too much. “See? Friend.”

“Friend,” Dan tried, as though testing the word out, not letting Arin’s hand go.

“Before you came, I was all alone,” Arin admitted, looking down at the ground. “It’s bad to be alone.”

“Alone, bad. Friend, good.” Dan replied, thoughtful. His face lit up as he shook Arin’s hand animatedly. “Arin, good!”

He said it over and over, shaking Arin’s hand non-stop. Arin laughed, until Dan’s vigorous motion tugged his hand clean off his wrist.

“Oh, oops.” Arin picked it up, as Dan looked on, horrified. “Dude, it’s fine! I’ll ask Dad to fix it, it’s no problem. Here, let’s go visit him in the lab, okay?”

He stood, holding out his only hand to Dan, who took it with a sheepish smile. They walked together, Dan not letting go. Arin privately enjoyed every second of it, relishing the warmth of Dan’s hand in his, but had to let go to open the door to his father’s laboratory.

“This is the lab.” Arin gestured to a figure in a white coat. “And who’s that, Dan?”

“Brian!” Dan replied, excited to recognise a familiar face.

“Nice one, Dan. You’re doing great. Hey Dad!” Arin shouted. “Need a hand?” He grinned, waving his own detached appendage at the mad scientist, who was absorbed in his current project. The hand, of its own volition, wiggled its fingers at Brian.

“Hey, boys.” Brian pulled the goggles up to rest on his hair, glancing up from a mess of mangled flesh on his operating table. It looked like roadkill, and smelled even worse. He groaned. “Oh, not again.”

“It wasn’t my fault! I was trying to show Dan a handshake and he overdid it. He’s been learning tons of words today.”

Brian beamed at the both of them, pleased. “That’s wonderful! His cognitive capacities appear to be improving rapidly. I must make a note of this in my experiment log.”

Arin laid his handless arm on Brian’s workbench as Brian fetched his surgical kit.

“What colour this time, son?”

“Pink!”

Brian started to carefully sew Arin’s hand back on with pink surgical thread, attaching it back onto his wrist with neat little stitches. Dan moved in close behind him to watch, while Arin tried not to blush, as he felt Dan’s chest pressed against his back. The guy hadn’t exactly mastered personal space yet, but Arin found he did not mind.

“Ooooh,” Dan murmured in awe at Brian, as he finished the last stitch with a flourish. Arin rubbed at his freshly reattached hand, trying to get rid of the jerky, tingling sensation that always followed the procedure.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Well, that’ll teach you not to be so careless with your hand again.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” Arin whined. “Whatcha working on?” He peered at the animal on Brian’s table top. “Is that… is that a dog?”

“Dog?” Dan’s ears perked up, clearly aware of the concept. “Dog??” He grabbed Arin by the arm, shaking his friend with glee. “Dog, Arin!”

“Dad, are we getting a dog?” Arin’s eyes grew huge, looking from the corpse to his father. “Dad, can we?!”

Brian sighed. It was hard to deny the two of them, who were pleading as though their unlife depended on it. “Alright, alright. I promise, I’ll get on it.”

Arin and Dan cheered, dancing circles around Brian.

“You have to let me work in peace, though.”

Arin took Dan’s hand again and said, “Come on, Dan, let’s go try some Super Mario,” which made Brian glance at his son with interest. “You know, to exercise his, uh, finger flexibility,” Arin added.

"Uhuh. Play nice!” Brian called after them, going back to his experiment.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Dan’s speech was functional, his vocabulary increasing in size day by day, thanks to Arin’s assistance. Dan asked endless strings of questions, but Arin was more than happy to help, exploring the world by his side. It made Arin’s heart swell to watch Dan learn about his surroundings, as his curiosity was quite endearing. There was so much to show him.

“What’s this?” rang in Arin’s ears constantly, especially now that they were in Brian’s lab. To Dan, everything was a ‘thing’ or a ‘stuff’, depending how much of it there was. He looked around the cavernous room, which was filled to the brim with fascinating laboratory equipment.

“So much stuff,” Dan observed.

“Yeah, Dad needs all of these for his work. He’s a scientist. He does, uh… science.” Arin scratched his head. “Not entirely sure what kind, exactly, but science.”

“Science.” Dan nodded politely, as Arin led him around the lab, naming various types of equipment for him.

“What’s that thing?” Dan pointed at a slight man in a white coat who was hunched over a laboratory bench, wearing huge yellow rubber gloves, meticulously titrating a mysterious purple liquid into test tubes on Brian’s orders.

“That’s an Australian. His name is Ross,” Arin explained. Ross was Brian’s postdoc student, and had absolutely no qualms working for a mad scientist if it was going to get his thesis published. He hadn’t even minded moving to Transylvania, stating that less of the wildlife here would try to kill him, compared to where he came from.

“What’s this stuff?” Dan picked up a test tube from the rack, shaking it.

“New and improved embalming liquid,” Ross answered. Dan continued to look blankly at him. “Preserves things.” No dice. “Stops them rotting and being nasty.”

“Oh, right.”

“Put it back, now.”

“Sorry.” Dan, chastened, handed it back to Ross. He noticed a giant glass flask on the bench next to Ross, suspended over a bunsen burner, which emitted a pretty blue flame. Its contents bubbled away cheerfully. His inquisitiveness getting the better of him, Dan reached out a finger to poke it, his tried and tested method of investigating new things. Arin noticed a second too late.

“Dan!”

“Ow! Shit!” Dan cried out, as his hand reflexively jerked back. He flailed, not understanding what had just happened. All he knew was that he was suffering.

“Daniel! Such language,” Ross exclaimed, in mock outrage. “Arin, have you been teaching him bad words?”

Dan had probably picked up that from him while they played Mario Kart. And maybe a few other words.

“Oww,” Dan moaned, his eyes tearing up. “What is this?” He held out his hand to Arin, who took it to inspect the damage, then hurried him over to the sink and stuck Dan’s finger under the cold water tap.

“That’s called pain,” Ross pointed out, unhelpfully. Arin glared at him.

“It’s… it’s hurt.” Boy, this was complicated. “It’s a bad thing that happens when you touch hot things. Or sharp things.” He rubbed Dan’s finger, trying to ease to pain.

“Hurt,” was all Dan could say in response, in a small, sad voice. Arin’s heart threatened to crumble.

“But see, it’s not all bad,” Arin explained, “because it tells you not to do it again. So if you see hot things, like this, then you know.” He pointed at the flame of the bunsen burner.

Dan stared at the little red burn on his index finger, not comprehending this new, unpleasant sensation. Arin sat him down and fetched the first aid kit. “Fire’s bad,” he concluded.

“Nah, fire’s also good, too. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have hot things that are nice. Like soup.” Arin put a little burn cream on Dan’s finger, then taped a small bandage over it. Without thinking, he brought Dan’s finger to his lips and kissed it.

“There you go, buddy. Better?”

“Better.” Dan nodded. “Thank you. What's that thing?”

“What thing?”

Dan mimicked Arin, pouting his lips with the same smoochy noise.

“Oh.” Arin’s cheeks coloured. “It's um... It's called a kiss. You do it to uh, people you like, so it makes boo-boos heal faster. Dad told me so.”

Well. If Dr Brian Wechtenstein, PhD, said so, then it had to be true. Dan mulled this over for a moment, and realised something.

“You… like me?”

Arin grew a touch redder than before. “Yes, Dan. You're my friend, and I like you a lot.”

“Awww,” came Ross’s voice from behind them. “You guys are adorable.”

“What’s adorable?” Dan looked at Arin, head tilted to one side like a confused puppy.

Arin pinched the bridge of his nose. _That. That is._ “Goddammit, Ross,” he muttered. “It means you're cute, Dan.”

Dan pointed at himself. “I'm cute?”

“Yes! Yes, Danny. You are very cute, okay?” Arin flushed all the way to the roots of his hair, took Dan by the uninjured hand, and led him past an uncontrollably giggling Ross out of the lab. Enough questions for today, he decided.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian introduces Dan to music. Dan learns to play the guitar and microwave popcorn. He and Arin have a movie night. I am bad at summaries.

“And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time, til’ touchdown brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home, oh no no no, I’m a -” Brian’s fingers paused on the piano keys, waiting.

“Rocket man,” Dan, who was sitting next to him on the piano bench, chimed in, pleased with himself.

“Very good, Danny!” Brian beamed at him, ruffling his hair. “Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone…”

From across their living room, Arin sat on the floor and watched, sighing happily to himself. When Brian was in a certain mood, he’d tickle the ivories in the evening, much to his creations’ enjoyment. As it turned out, Dan had a great ear and a natural aptitude for singing, so Brian had been giving him music lessons. It was not uncommon nowadays to hear Dan singing, the dulcet tones of his voice floating through the corridors during practice. Arin would stop whatever he was doing to listen, smiling ear to ear.

“He got it from my side of the family. After all, I gave him the fingers of a guitarist.” Brian winked. “I won’t say who.”

Dan's voracious appetite for music meant that his command of the English language was growing at an exponential rate. He and Arin spent many nights lying on their stomachs on the living room floor, listening while Brian put vinyl after vinyl on his record player for them. Dan had also inherited his creator’s musical tastes, which largely turned out to be classic rock. This in turn made all his pop culture references, like Brian’s, permanently stuck in the 80’s.

“And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time…” Brian ended with a big, dramatic finish, as Dan and Arin applauded with enthusiasm. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all weekend.” He did a little mock bow. “Alright, buddy, what do you want to hear next? Weird Al, or some Oingo Boingo?”

“Moving Pictures, please, Brian.” Dan was now forming coherent, simple sentences, and was certainly far more coordinated than Arin was at his age.

“Again?” Brian smiled, as he got up to fetch the record from his collection. “You really like Rush, don’t you?”

“Rush is awesome,” Dan declared.

“I agree.” Brian placed the needle onto the vinyl disc, letting the music play softly in the background. “Knock yourselves out, boys. I’ve got some work to finish up in the lab.”

“Bye, Brian,” Dan waved, and came to sit next to his friend on the floor.

“Man, you’ve been getting so much better at the words lately.” Arin patted him on the knee.

“Thank you,” Dan smiled back. “I can play guitar. Want to see?”

“Sure! Did Brian teach you something?”

Dan got up and retrieved a battered old acoustic guitar that belonged to a younger Brian, resting it on his lap.

“You guess the song,” Dan suggested.

“Oh, okay! I can play this game. Let’s do it.”

Dan began to strum several slow notes with care, and Arin immediately recognised it.

“Smoke on the Water!”

“Yeah.” Dan grinned. “How about this?”

Dan played a heavy, ominous-sounding riff. Arin put a robotic voice. “Iiii aaam Irooon Maaan.” His companion laughed.

“Okay, good. This is harder.”

His long, elegant fingers moved with such precision. Arin tried not to stare too obviously.

“Um, um, um… I know this! Aaagh!” It was on the tip of his tongue. Arin tried humming it to himself, but to no avail.

“Satisfaction.” Dan chuckled. “Rolling Stones. One more?”

“Yeah, hit me,” Arin agreed, but Dan just looked at him, in shock.

“I don’t want to!”

“No, Dan, it’s an expression, it means like, give it to me.”

Dan scratched his head. “Give what to you?”

“Not literally, it just means like, ‘do it’.”

“Oh, right. Try this one.”

Dan picked out a faster string of notes. He was a little clunky, since he’d only learned it yesterday, but the riff was unmistakeable.

Arin scoffed. “Oh, dude, everybody knows that one, it’s Another One Bites the Dust.”

“This one is my favourite,” Dan told him. “Here goes.”

He began to play a slow, haunting melody, his body swaying to the music as fingers nimbly plucked at the strings. His finger picking wasn’t bad at all, for a beginner. Arin was captivated.

“Stairway to Heaven!” Arin whistled through his teeth, impressed. “Wow, Brian’s really been putting you through the School of Rock, hasn’t he.”

Dan beamed at him. “Thanks. I love rock music.”

“Remind me to show you Wayne’s World some time,” Arin told him. Dan looked confused. “It’s a movie, you’ll love it.”

Dan had such a beautiful soul, Arin reflected, lost in thought for a brief moment as Dan continued to play his Led Zeppelin tune. He looked so at peace when he made music. Dan was gentle, where he was not, poised and graceful, unlike him. Above all, Dan had not a mean bone in his body, as though he were imbued with the essence of sunshine. Truly, Brian had constructed a being that was a perfect complement to him.

“Arin?” The monster snapped out of his daydream to find Dan peering at him curiously. “You’re staring at me.”

Arin hadn’t realised. Time for a smooth cover-up. “It’s because you’re so pretty.”

Dan blinked, and his cheeks were tinted pink. “Am not.”

“Uh, yeah you are. You’re the prettiest monster.”

“Shut up, Arin.” Dan elbowed him in jest.

“Okay, okay. How about you go grab some popcorn, I’ll get the blankets, and we’ll meet back here and watch this movie? Unless you want to put on a horror flick.” Arin grinned evilly.

“No way.” Dan made a face. The last time they watched the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dan had been so terrified, he spent most of it hiding behind Arin, not daring to look at the screen.

He dashed off to the kitchen, where Ross was busy chugging his usual after-dinner drink -  a huge glass of milk.

“Ross, I need popcorn.”

Ross swallowed the entire glass non-stop without gagging at all. “You _need_ popcorn?”

“I want popcorn, please.”

“No problem.” Ross set his glass down, and reached into a cabinet. He pulled out a paper bag, bunging it into the microwave.

“You set it on High for three minutes, okay? No more than that, or it’ll burn.”

“That’s not good,” Dan agreed, mesmerised by the rotating bag inside the microwave, as it swelled up. He jumped when the first kernel emitted a loud pop. “What the-”

Ross smirked at him, and Dan rolled his eyes. “That’s why it’s called popcorn, Dan. It pops.”

“Goddammit, Ross.”

They watched together, as the bag started to vibrate with the corn popping, which amused Dan. Eventually, it trailed off and stopped. Ross opened the microwave door and picked up the bag by a corner, dropping its contents into a big bowl.

“Careful, it’s hot. You remember,” Ross said, with a smug smile. Dan rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, Ross.” Dan took the bowl back to the living room, where Arin had constructed a blanket nest on the couch, fortified with pillows, the movie menu ready and waiting on the television screen.

“Nice,” Dan informed Arin.

“You ready to rock?”

“Hell yeah.”

They sunk into the warm embrace of the blanket nest together, sharing the massive bowl of popcorn, as they watched the movie. They laughed at all the stupid jokes, Arin having to explain some of them, though most of it hadn’t aged well. They sang along to all the tunes with gusto, Dan outdoing himself during Bohemian Rhapsody in particular, hitting the high note with ease. It was fun to rock out with Dan.

As it got later and later into the night, Dan slumped onto Arin, his head resting on Arin’s shoulder. His bushy hair tickled Arin’s face, but he didn’t mind. Dan’s scent wafted past his nose, a charming combination of butter and formaldehyde.

By the time the credits rolled, Dan was fast asleep, a tiny bit of drool at the corner of his mouth leaking onto Arin’s shirt. Far from finding it gross, Arin thought it was endearing.

“Sleepy sheepy,” he teased. “Wake up, the movie’s over.” Dan tugged the blanket closer, stubbornly refusing to move, much too tired to get up.

Arin sighed. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.” He got to his feet, wrapping Dan in the blankets and picking him up in his burly arms with ease. Dan weighed next to nothing compared to the lab equipment he hauled around for his mad scientist father. With his friend curled up against his broad chest, Arin carried him back to his room, laying him gently on the bed.

He turned to leave, trying to make his footsteps less heavy so as not to wake the sleeping figure, but Dan clutched at the sleeve of his shirt, just like he had that first night.

“Nooo,” Dan whined. “Stay here.”

He swallowed nervously. “Danny, it’s bedtime.”

“Stay with me, please.”

In the dim light of the room, Dan’s eyes were dark and soulful, fixing Arin with such a look of longing. How could he resist? He climbed onto Dan’s bed, resting his large form next to him. Dan’s eyelids fluttered and closed, his lovely locks fanned out on the pillow. _Like a resting angel,_ Arin mused. He felt the sudden urge to run his fingers through them, and started to pet Dan’s curls. Dan responded by cuddling nearer.

He could have sworn Dan was fast asleep when he heard a tiny, sleepy murmur.

“Stay with me forever, Arin.”

Arin felt his throat lock up. “I will, Dan,” he whispered back, voice hoarse with emotion. “I promise.”

He pulled Dan close to his chest, safe in his arms, and they stayed like together until morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is scared of lightning, but luckily, Arin is there for him.

“Sorry I kind of, uh, screamed in your face.”

Dan was fully conscious now. His power of speech had caught up, helped along in part by modern television, and he was now conversing fluently with Arin. The weather outside was terrible, so Arin had postponed their excursion into the nearby woods, deciding to spend some quality time with their SNES. They sat on the floor of Dan’s room, playing Kirby’s Dream Course together. Dan had his customary bag of Skittles in front of him, chowing down as fat droplets of rain pattered against the windowpane.

“What do you mean?” Arin was trying to steal one of Dan’s stars, but rolled back into the sand trap. “Fuck! I was so close.”

“Oh, you know, when I woke up for the first time, opened my eyes, saw you, and then like… yelled my head off.”

“I don’t blame you, man, I did the same thing too.” Arin reached a sneaky hand over and nabbed a couple of Skittles, but Dan never seemed to mind sharing anyway. “I mean, for a minute there I thought, ‘wow, I must be hideous or something’, but I got over it.”

“Nah, dude, you’re not hideous.” Dan smiled at the screen, as he lined up the perfect shot, aiming for the hole. “Yesss. Got it.”

“Gee, thanks. It’s a nice face, you know. My dad worked really hard on it. And I - GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” Arin swore as he ended up overshooting and launched clear off the course for the third time that evening. Dan howled with laughter, falling onto his friend beside him, helpless with mirth.

“Such legit rage.” Dan watched in amusement, tears in his eyes. In the beginning, when Arin lost his temper at video games, it had puzzled Dan to no end, not understanding his fury at inanimate objects. He’d even pointed this out to Brian the first time, who explained, “I overdid it a touch with the testosterone when I made him. Don’t mind him, he means no harm. He’s actually a pretty friendly guy.”

“You sure?” Dan had asked, as Arin flung a controller clear across the living room during a particular game called Battle Kid, leaving a sizeable hole in the wall upon impact.

Now, of course, it was just hilarious, a source of entertainment for Dan.

“But yeah, I think I was just - AAAH!”

A deafening crack sounded right outside their window. Dan, startled, nearly jumped out of his skin.

“What the fuck was that?!” he demanded, looking at Arin, who saw how scared his friend was and paused the game.

“It’s thunder, dude. Sometimes when it rains it does that. Just atmospheric discharge. Nothing to be afraid of.” A flash suddenly illuminated the dim, grey landscape outside, for a brief moment. “And that’s lightning. Usually comes before the-”

Thunder boomed overhead again, and Dan screamed this time.

“Nope! I’m done!” Dan tossed his controller aside and bolted across the room to his bed. He dived under his duvet, pulling the covers over his head.

Arin padded over and sat next to the lump in the bed. He laid a hand on it. It quivered.

“Fuck this noise! Literally!” came a shaky voice from under the blanket.

Arin looked out the window. The storm raged on outside, and did not seem to want to let up anytime soon. And if it was this loud, it had to be nearby.

The lump began to shake. Arin stifled a giggle.

“It’s not funny! It’s scary.” Arin could hear the pout in Dan’s voice, which made him chuckle even more.

“You scawered?” Arin lay down on the bed. The lump moved closer to him.

“Yeah, I’m scawered,” it answered, petulant.

“Aww, buddy, c’mere.” He patted the lump. Dan poked his head out from under his cocoon of safety. The coast seemed clear, so he clambered onto Arin, desperately seeking comfort. Arin shifted Dan to lie on him, like a giant human-shaped mattress, pulling a blanket over the terrified boy.

“I’m not crushing you, am I?” Dan asked, his words muffled as his face was pressed to Arin’s broad chest.

“Dan, you’re like, half my weight. I don’t think it’s possible.” Arin petted his friend's fluffy hair in an attempt to soothe him. “It can’t hurt you in here. See, there’s a neat trick to check how far away it is. If you see the flash, and then count the seconds until the noise, divide that by five, that’s how many miles away it is. Here, I’ll show you.”

They waited for the next bolt of lightning, and counted together. The resounding peal of thunder frightened Dan, who huddled closer to Arin. Soon, the seconds between grew longer and longer, and the thunder faded from a sharp, loud crack to a long, low rumble. Dan relaxed a little, feeling more comfortable by the minute. Arin continued to stroke his hair, and he felt the tension in his muscles dissolve away.

“Still spooky scary,” Dan insisted.

“Dan, you’re literally an undead monster brought back to life by the very thing that’s making that noise out there right now. You’re the spooky scary one.”

Dan sulked. “My ears are just really sensitive, okay?”

“If it makes you feel any better, next time there’s a thunderstorm, Dad might give us a dog.”

Dan perked up right away. “Really?! Oh my god, that would be amazing.”

“Yeah, and we could,” Arin stifled a snort, “we could name it _Sparky._ Get it?”

“Funny joke, Arin.” Dan rolled his eyes, but affectionately so. “I wanna name it Princess Tinkles.”

“Princess Tinkles! That’s the best name ever.”

An abrupt clap of thunder again. Dan whimpered. Arin pulled Dan closer, who buried his face in Arin’s neck, little puffs of breath tickling the metal bolts embedded in them. He stroked a large hand down his friend’s back, again and again, until Dan’s breathing slowed into a calm rhythm. They listened to the sounds of the thunderstorm, getting less and less audible each time they counted.

“Dad created you on a night like this.” Arin’s voice was soft as he reminisced.

“Will you tell me about it? I don’t remember a lot of it... I don't think my brain was fully turned on just yet.” Dan peered up at him, with round, amber eyes. 

Arin’s stomach did a backflip, and he nodded. “Dad calls this reanimation weather. For weeks, we were waiting on a night just like this one. One day, it finally happened. Dad asked if I wanted to have a look at you before we started. That’s when I saw you for the first time.”

“And you were like, ‘dayum’.”

“I mean, yeah, pretty much. If anything I was like, wait. Wait. Dad. He’s too hot. That’s not fair.” Dan sniggered into the blanket. “And then Ross and I let the kites into the sky so it collected all the electricity from the lightning, and the diffuser basically shot it directly into your body.”

“Shot through the heart! And you’re to blame!”

They both collapsed into a fit of giggles, Arin making Dan shake since he was lying on him. Trust Dan to chime in with the appropriate 80’s rock reference. “Do you want me to tell this story or not?”

“Sorry, sorry, go ahead.” Dan settled down on Arin again. Arin resumed brushing his fingers through Dan’s curls.

“Then we waited. It was so tense. And then you moved your fingers, so I held your hand and asked if you could hear me. When you opened your eyes, Ross was like, ‘haha, they match’, because mine don’t, but whatever Ross, I like my different coloured eyes.”

“I like ‘em too,” Dan agreed.

“They’re totally rad, right? Anyway, you started to look around, and then you saw me, and you went ‘Aaaaah!’. Which was kind of a bummer, but Dad said I did the same thing when I first woke up.”

“Probably because I’d never seen such a handsome fella in my life.” Dan gave him a playful nudge. Arin scoffed.

“What, all 30 seconds of it? Anyway, Dad was like, ‘I know it was a bit of a shock’, and Ross sassed him.”

“Yeah, because it was like, wow, this guy literally just woke up, _and_ he has to endure a dad joke already?”

“Them’s the breaks when you’re a reanimated corpse. So we took you back to your room, and I had to take off your bandages.” Dan wolf-whistled, and Arin sighed in mock exasperation. “Daniel, please. I am trying to tell a story here.”

“Sorry,” grinned Dan, who did not sound sorry at all. “I remember you said I had nice hands.”

Arin was lost momentarily in the memory of kissing the back of Dan’s hand, of brushing his lips against the soft skin. Dan really did have nice hands. Arin often caught himself gazing at them while it was Dan’s turn to play video games, as they expertly handled the controller.

“Oh, and then you took them off my dick, and you were like, _hello_.”

Arin tried his darndest not to blush. “Not gonna lie, it was pretty big.”

“Yeah, remind me to thank Brian for that.”

“Anyway, you kind of passed out after you changed into something more comfortable.” That kimono robe was still one of Dan’s favourite items of clothing, and he wore it around the house frequently in the mornings, much to Arin’s delight. The way it clung to his lithe frame… well, best not to think about that when Dan was pressed so close to him.

“I was so tired. And then you pushed the hair away from my face while I tried to sleep, and you… you...” Dan trailed off and stared at Arin, as a memory of that night came flooding back. “You said, ‘You’re so beautiful’. I remember now.”

“I mean…” Arin began to turn a deep crimson. 

“Do you really think so?” Dan looked away shyly.

Arin huffed. “Danny, you were the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen in my life. I literally fell in love with you the second I clapped eyes on you.”

Now it was Dan’s turn to go beet red. “Oh, Arin,” he whispered.

“I would have told you sooner, but Dad told me not to lay it on too thick because you were new.” Arin exhaled a heavy sigh. “I was just so grateful to have a friend in my life, to have you as my friend. Whatever makes you happy, Dan, I'll be happy too.”

Dan took Arin’s large hand in his, rubbing his massive knuckles with a thumb, as his memory of that night started to come back to him. “Arin, you told me... you said you weren’t going anywhere, and that you were right there if I needed you.”

Arin tried to prevent his heart from stopping. It would be awkward if Dan had to go and get the defibrillators during such an emotional moment.

“I mean it, Dan. Always.” Arin squeezed Dan’s slender hand.

Dan smiled at his friend. “You're a really caring guy, you know?”

“Me?” Arin looked at him, incredulous.

“Yeah, you. You've always been so kind to me. Especially when I was new, you were so patient, showing me all kinds of stuff and making sure I was okay.”

Arin chuckled. “It was fun watching you learn all about the world.” 

“You've always been by my side. When I get hurt, when I get lonely, when I get scared. I don't know how to thank you enough.” Dan was fidgeting, not looking at his companion. “Arin? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you allowed to, um… Can you kiss someone even if they don’t have a boo-boo?”

“Depends. Is that someone me?”

“It might be.”

“I can go get a boo-boo, if that’ll help,” Arin offered.

“No!” Dan raised his head to look at him, putting a hand to Arin’s chest to stop him. “You don’t have to.” He was now face to face with Arin. “Can I?” he asked, bashful.

Arin held his breath, and nodded. Dan gave Arin a peck on the cheek, trying to replicate what Arin had done to his injured finger so long ago. He pulled away, blinking in surprise.

“Did I do it right?”

The gentle touch of Dan’s lips to his cheek had halted his pulse in its tracks for a few seconds. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Yeah, you did,” Arin managed to say. “You can do them on other places too. Like this.” He planted a smooch on Dan’s forehead. Dan laughed, and decided he liked forehead kisses.

“How about this?” Dan kissed Arin’s neck, just under the metal bolt, as he slid his arms around Arin’s shoulders.

“That… that works.” Arin forced himself to speak English, as he felt his brain turn to mush. “There’s one more, but it’s… different.”

“Can you show me?” Dan asked, his voice low and quiet as he looked deep into Arin’s mismatched eyes.

Arin swallowed, and nodded. He gazed at Dan’s lovely, full lips, resting a hand on his cheek and brushing a thumb over his bottom lip. Then he leaned in, closed his eyes, and pressed his mouth to Dan’s.

Dan made a little noise of surprise, which melted into a long moan. He tugged Arin closer, who wrapped his strong arms around him, trying to not to crush Dan. Eventually, though they were reluctant to stop, both of them pulled apart for air, foreheads pressed together.

“That… that was amazing,” Dan murmured, breathless.

“Plenty more where that came from.”

They lay together like that for a while, just two monster boys trading kisses under the covers, the storm outside long forgotten. It was a tranquil moment, a moment in time where they felt so safe in Dan’s four poster bed, far away from the tempest that raged beyond the walls of the mansion. Dan nuzzled at his neck, making his neck bolts tingle with pleasure, and Arin thought to himself, _I could definitely get used to this._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thunderstorm means the boys get a new dog! Also, don't throw with a loose hand!

It was, after all, monsoon season, and it wasn’t long before another beauty of a thunderstorm whipped itself into a frenzy just above the castle. Dan was no longer as afraid of thunder as he had been before, especially not when the promise of a new pet was on the horizon. Heavy drops of rain smacked against their windows, as Dan and Arin waited, vibrating with nervous energy.

“Come on, come on…” Arin muttered.

Dan pointed. “There! Over there!”

The first lightning bolt struck the ground not far from them, and they dashed out of the bedroom, down the hallways, bursting into their creator’s laboratory, gasping for breath. Brian looked up from his workbench, goggled perched on his salt-and-pepper hair, his lab coat stained with various unknown substances.

“Dad! It happened! We saw!”

“Are we getting a dog? Brian! Please? Can we??”

“Please, Dad, we’ll look after it and everything!”

“Brian, I promise I will personally scoop up all its-”

Brian held up his hands to stop them. “Boys, please! We haven’t reached peak thunderstorm yet, but we’re close. Just wait a little longer.”

But Arin had already started to investigate a huge lumpy figure draped a white shroud on an operating table nearby. His mouth gaped open.

“Is that it? Is that the dog?”

“Yes, Arin, but don’t take the sheet off yet, it’s a -”

Before Brian could finish his sentence, the two boys had pulled the drape off. Upon discovering a heavily bandaged, four-legged creature, they hollered in excitement, bouncing around each other.

“- surprise,” Brian finished.

“WE’RE GETTING A FREAKING DOG!” Arin yelled.

“We’re gonna have a new friend!” Dan grabbed him and they jumped up and down together, while Brian and Ross began to affix the diffuser bands to the table.

“Settle down, now, boys.” Brian turned to his assistant. “Get on the roof, Ross, you know the drill.”

“Yes, Master Brian,” came the droll reply in a vaguely Australian accent. Ross watched the pair do a jig around the lab as he ascended the stone staircase to do his supervisor’s bidding.

It was like the night Dan had been brought to life, although this time Ross had only released one kite, since they wouldn’t need as much power to reanimate a dog corpse compared to a human one. Arin grabbed Dan’s hand tightly, the anticipation making his adrenal glands work overtime. Dan hugged his big friend to him, unable to contain his own jitters.

When Brian yanked the lever down to release thousands of volts of electricity into the animal, the lights in the lab started to flicker. Finally, Brian released the mechanism, and everything powered down to a quiet hum again.

“That probably did it.”

The boys practically tore the diffuser bands off the table, and held their breath. Now to wait.

“Is it moving?” Dan thought he saw the minute rise and fall of the creature’s chest.

Arin reached out a brave finger and poked it. “Don’t think so.” Dan, not quite so brave, nudged it with the end of a test tube.

The creature started to snuffle in response. They saw its nose twitch, and screamed.

“Dad, it worked!”

“Shhh,” Brian chided. “Don’t frighten it.”

“Sorry,” Arin said, hushed. “Can we take off the bandages?” Brian nodded.

With the two of them working in tandem, they made quick work of the cloth wrappings, stripping them all off within seconds. What they unveiled before them was about the size of a small bear, and could only be described as stunningly hideous. It had the head of a Bernese mountain dog, the body of a Newfoundland, with the legs and tail of a Tibetan mastiff. The boys stared, jaws on the floor, and drew their faces close to the table.

“I’ve never seen a more perfect dog in my life,” Dan whispered.

“You’ve never seen a dog in your life,” Arin reminded him.

Brian regarded his latest work of art with a smug smile. “It’s got the personality of a St. Bernard, friendly and mellow, but also playful and energetic when it wants to be. The solid black coat is water resistant, climate adaptable. It is extremely hardy, and can survive in extreme temperatures. Pound for pound, it is the strongest, most well-muscled dog in existence. It could take down a full-grown wild boar, no problem,” he bragged.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Arin asked, because it was impossible to determine when it’d been constructed with so many different parts.

“It’s approximately 60% female. What do you want to call it?”

“Princess Tinkles,” the pair said in unison.

“Well, Princess Tinkles it is, then.” Brian patted the dog’s tummy. It immediately raised its head, blinking round, dark eyes at him, and panting with eagerness. “Oh, you like that, do you? Princess Tinkles loves the belly rubs. Yes they do.”

Arin pressed his face to the dog’s. It flicked out a large, wet tongue and licked Arin’s cheek, who jumped back and chuckled.

“They like you.” Dan reached out a tentative hand. The beast placed a massive paw on it, as if to greet his new friend. “They like me too!” Dan beamed.

“Look at the huge toe beans, Dan!” Arin gazed in wonder, holding a paw up.

“Now, this means you will both have to be responsible for Princess Tinkles, understood? You’ll have to walk them, feed them, groom them, and -”

“Let them shoot poopies in the woods, yeah,” Arin finished.

“We’ll be so responsible, Brian, you don’t even know. Ghoul Scout’s honour.” Dan saluted.

It took both Arin and Dan (mostly Arin) to lift the dog off the table, and place it onto the floor with care. It sat upright for a minute, and then flopped onto its side.

“I don’t think it can really stand just yet,” Dan observed.

Arin crouched down, trying to communicate with it. He tried scratching under its chin, which it seemed to like, its long tongue lolling out of its mouth.

“Hey, Princess Tinkles. You’re a good dog, aren’t you? We’re your friends now. We’re gonna take care of you. And - AHH!”

The hound had tried to lunge at Arin, but with a nervous system that was not quite fully functioning, it ended up knocking Arin over. It lumbered onto him, squashing him with its dead weight. Princess Tinkles slobbered all over his face, panting happily. It appeared to find Arin quite comfortable, settling on his chest.

“Dan, I think this dog is heavier than you,” he croaked.

“Well, Princess Tinkles weighs in at 264 pounds, so that would be correct.” Brian was scribbling notes into his experiment log, documenting the canine’s behaviour.

Dan crowed with laughter behind him. “Nice one, Princess Tinkles.” He went to fetch a brush, then sat next to them, running it through their silky fur. “We’re gonna teach you all kinds of tricks,” Dan told his new pet.

“It is highly intelligent, so you should be able to, with some patience.” Brian patted the dog’s hindquarters, which it seemed to enjoy.

The boys hugged their new dog, lost in the heap of fur that was the creature. Then they seized Brian round the middle, squeezing him hard.

“Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”

“Brian, you are the man, and I love you.”

Brian smiled, patting them both on the head. Fatherhood had come to him in strange, strange ways, but he was enjoying every minute of it.

* * *

It was a beautiful night to show both Dan and Princess Tinkles the uninhabited woods surrounding the castle. Not even the bravest hunter would dare venture into these woods. Certainly not with rumours of monsters about, which Ross would spread every time he visited nearby settlements, spinning his yarn in taverns late into the night for the villagers.

The two monsters walked together, with Princess Tinkles by their side, safe in the knowledge that nothing in these woods could possibly be more terrifying than them. It was quite romantic, with the moonlight shining in between spindly tree branches that looked like creepy limbs, as Dan and Arin walked hand in hand. Their hound bounded along merrily, romping among the trees, sniffing at everything with enthusiasm, as all dogs are wont to do.

They found their way to the lake, the surface of which glimmered mysteriously. On the other side, pine trees loomed in the dark, stretching towards the night sky, towering over them. They approached the shore, and Princess Tinkles ran off to explore the water. Arin lay down a massive blanket, setting his picnic basket on top and smoothing it out.

“M’lady,” he gestured to it in a grand, sweeping gesture.

“Please never say that ever again.”

Dan could not help but grin anyway, and stretched out on the blanket. Arin started to unpack the basket, pulling out a bottle of Monster and Dan’s favourite dark-sided Skittles.

“I’m sure that’s not going to make us puke our guts up.” Dan eyed them, sarcasm thick in his voice.

“You’re thinking of Pop Rocks and Coke.” Arin settled down next to him, pouring him a cup. Dan took it, and giggled as Arin pretended to yawn, badly hiding an attempt to slide his arm around Dan’s shoulder.

“That only works when you’re on an actual seat, Arin.”

“Shhh.”

Dan had never felt more content, chewing on Skittles and listening to the sounds of nature, with Arin’s body so warm next to him. His heart felt full to the brim with happiness. He leaned over and kissed Arin on the cheek.

“Since you’re being such a gentleman.”

Arin turned bright crimson. “I try.”

They sat together, gazing out at the lake, which shimmered in the light of the moon. The peace and quiet of the scene was only disrupted by the loud splashing of Princess Tinkles. It seemed to have picked up something in the lake with its teeth, and was galloping towards them.

“Uh oh,” Arin muttered.

Princess Tinkles skidded to a halt next to their spot, and started to shake vigorously. Arin managed to shield Dan from the droplets of lake water flying at them. Most of it, anyway.

“Ew,” Dan concluded, when it was done, picking a speck of algae off Arin’s face. “What’s that they have in their mouth?”

Princess Tinkles promptly dropped a large bone onto their blanket. Dan recoiled in disgust.

“Princess Tinkles! Where’d you even find this? It’s huge.”

“Dan,” Arin picked it up to inspect it. “I’m fairly sure this is a human femur.”

“Gross, don’t touch it.” Dan started to inch away.

Arin’s shirt was wet and clinging to him, and it was beginning to get uncomfortable. He peeled his shirt off, sighing with relief and tossing it onto the basket.

Dan, distracted from his disgust, gazed openmouthed _._ Arin was _ripped._ Carrying heavy machinery for Brian day after day had done wonders for his strongman physique. Arin’s arms and shoulders were beefy, well-muscled from physical labour. He doubt he could fit his entire hand around Arin’s bicep. Somewhere off in the distance, he swore he heard a choir of angels at band practice.

_Don't stare. Don't stare._

“Like what you see?” Arin grinned, as Dan stared. He flexed a burly arm at Dan, just to show off. Dan swallowed nervously.

Princess Tinkles started to nudge Arin’s arm, slobbering over it. It looked at him expectantly, waiting.

“I think they want me to throw it!” Arin aimed for a nearby tree and tossed the bone. Dan continued to admire his shirtless, well-built friend in stunned silence. Brian truly had crafted a masterpiece.

Princess Tinkles took off, charging after it, and returning to them. It dropped the bone in Arin’s lap, covered in more spittle than before.

“Princess Tinkles, I love you, but you are so disgusting sometimes.” Dan wrinkled his nose as Arin held the bone in his hand, hurling it away from them. Princess Tinkles raced after it.

“They're just trying to have fun and make us proud.” Arin smiled fondly at the canine abomination. “They're a good dog.”

Princess Tinkles brought it back again. This time, Arin would really give the dog a workout. He reeled back, flinging the bone as hard as he could, with all his might, and-

The bone, along with his hand, hurtled towards the lake, and sank with a plop. Dan put his palm to his face, stifling his laughter.

“Oh my god, Arin.”

“That's what I get for showing off.” Arin scratched his head with his free hand sheepishly.

To its credit, Princess Tinkles ran into the lake, retrieving Arin’s hand for him, dropping it with a wet splat onto the blanket. Dan made a face and leaned over to put it into the picnic basket, so they wouldn't lose it.

“No more playing fetch today.” Dan shifted, resting between Arin’s thighs, leaning back against his broad chest. His fluffy hair tickled Arin’s chin in a pleasant way, a sensation Arin was quickly being accustomed too.

"Yes, dear." Arin smirked.

They sat together in comfortable silence, enjoying the night’s atmosphere and each other's company. Dan didn't think there was anywhere else in the world he'd rather be than here, secure in Arin’s arms. His thick, jacked arms. He sighed with contentment.

“Do you think there's a monster in that lake?” Dan asked.

“I bet there is, and I bet Dad put it there,” Arin answered, mouth by his ear, close as they were. Dan shivered, and not from the evening breeze. Arin made a mental note.

Dan laughed. “Mmm. Probably looks like something right out of the Jurassic Period. You know how much he likes dinosaurs.”

Dan watched the murky depths for any movement, but Arin had only eyes for him. Dan was absolutely breathtaking in moonlight, the glow highlighting his strong features. Often, Arin could not help but stop and stare in awe, and wonder how he had become this fortunate, to have found a mate so ravishing.

“You're so beautiful,” murmured Arin with a happy sigh. He picked up Dan's hand, and kissed his long, elegant fingers.

Dan blushed. “Am not.”

“Dad might have given me different coloured eyes, but they work just fine.” Arin grinned, smooching up Dan's arm.

“Arin!” Dan giggled. “Aren't you smooth.”

“I could just keep doing this." Arin's kisses made their way over Dan's shoulders, along the crook of his neck, following the lines of his scars to a tender spot just under his ear. “Until you believe me.” His lips brushed over Dan’s ear as he spoke, and his companion shuddered.

“Dude, stop.” Dan shuddered and bit back a moan. “You're gonna give me a wicked boner.”

Arin shrugged with a cheeky smile. “Not like there's anyone else here.”

“I am not doing the nasty by a lake while our dog watches, Arin.”

“Okay, okay.” Arin relented. They continued to cuddle, as Princess Tinkles, tired from its exertions, flopped down on the blanket next to them.

“You know, I think I saw a fin flash just now. Maybe you're right.”

“I wouldn't be surprised, you know how Brian has a penchant for - ahhh!” Dan jumped and yelped. “Arin, I told you, cut it out.”

“Cut what out?” Arin looked down his friend, confused.

“Oh, don't give me that,” Dan huffed. “You could always just ask if you wanted to grab my butt, you know.”

“Uh, Dan? My hand’s right here.” Arin wiggled it. Sure enough, his arm, with his only remaining hand, was occupied, wrapped around Dan’s waist.

“Then what- Ariiin.” Dan rolled his eyes as he scooted over, only to reveal Arin’s other hand. It had apparently escaped the picnic basket, snuck under Dan’s ass, and given it a hearty pinch. “It _was_ you after all.”

Arin snorted. “I guess it can't get enough of you, either.”

Dan picked it up by a thumb. It struggled, but its effort was futile, as Dan dropped it back into the picnic basket, fastening the catch this time.

“Well, we’d better get back to the castle and attach it to your arm before it gets into any more mischief. Come on, Princess Tinkles.”

Their dog stood, tail wagging, as they packed up. Dan took his mate’s remaining hand, and together they walked through the woods, back home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know how it goes. You start reattaching your boyfriend's hand, one thing leads to another, and the entire castle knows.

Dan perched on one of Arin’s thighs, thick as a tree trunk, the surgical kit by his side. Arin sat on the edge of the operating table, waiting patiently as his friend prepared to sew his hand back on, clad only in his boxers. He'd shucked off his damp jeans, dumping into a heap on the floor with his discarded shirt.

“Pink?”

“You know it.”

Dan threaded a sterilised needle with hot pink surgical thread, and began his meticulous stitching. Frustrated with Arin’s hand constantly coming off - especially from being flung across rooms after losing at video games - Brian had taught Dan how to reattach the hand. With a little practice on pig skin and corpses, Dan was a natural, his fingers performing the intricate task without difficulty.

Dan went about his task with intense focus, his stitches neat and even. Arin thought they were pretty. Arin thought most things Dan did with his hands were pretty. He started to nuzzle his face into Dan’s curls. Arin pressed his nose to his neck, inhaling deeply.

“Mmmmm,” he groaned.

Dan paused and looked up from his sewing. “What is it?”

“Huh?” Still distracted by the intoxicating scent, he leaned in further, wrapping his arms around Dan.

“You made a yummy sound.”

“You just smell so good,” he murmured in a deep voice, right by Dan’s ear. Dan’s hands faltered.

“Quit moving, unless you want this hand on backwards.”

“Don't care,” came the muffled, petulant reply. Arin cuddled him closer, kissing and mouthing at his neck. Dan bit his lip.

“Arin, seriously.”

Ignoring his companion’s warning, Arin continued, nipping at his earlobe, and the tightness in his jeans grew worse.

“Hold still!”

In an attempt to keep Arin from moving, Dan straddled him, gripping his arm between his knees. Arin bit his lip, trying not to squirm under the sudden pressure in his lap. Dan's deft hands made quick work of it, despite being so distracted. Arin was hard beneath him, his erection pressed against Dan’s thigh, impossible to miss when the material of his boxers was so thin. It felt huge. Dan blushed, his fingers fumbling. He briefly wondered how he hadn't sewn the hand on crooked.

“Dan, hurry,” Arin breathed, rolling his hips just once, his arousal almost unbearable. “Oh, fuck.”

“Okay, I'm done!”

Dan finished up the stitches, and barely had time to put aside all sharp objects when Arin, unable to resist any longer, tackled him onto the steel table. Arin had Dan covered almost completely with his bulk. Dan, flat on his back, moaned as his companion began to suck kisses under his jaw, grinding their hips together. Deep purple marks followed in the wake of Arin’s mouth.

“Arin!” Dan gasped and writhed under him, reaching a hand down to undo his jeans. It didn't matter, as Arin tore them off him instead, desperate to feel Dan’s skin on his. Dan assisted by pulling his shirt over his head, and Arin groaned aloud.

“You're so gorgeous.” He trailed his hand over Dan’s scars, caressing them, paying close attention to his favourite, the Y-incision on his torso that was Brian’s handiwork. “God, I love you.”

He pulled Dan close and kissed him hard. Dan clutched Arin’s face in his hands, returning it with the same passion, kissing back fiercely.

When they broke apart, panting, Dan stared deep into his partner's mismatched eyes. Breathless but solemn, he said, “Arin, Brian made me as your friend, but I chose to be your mate.” He smiled, brushing a lock of white hair away from Arin’s face and tucking it behind his ear. “I love you too.”

Arin, overcome with emotion, all but crushed Dan to him in a giant bear hug, who laughed at his lover’s eagerness. He stroked a hand over Arin’s cheek.

“Easy, Big Cat. We've got all night.”

“The rest of our unlives.” Arin kissed Dan softly, then seized both of Dan’s slender wrists easily in one large hand and pinned them to the table above his head. Dan whimpered.

“Let's get started.”

* * *

“Oh, god - nngh -”

Brian stopped short, his cup of hot cocoa in his hand. The cocoa was his customary night-time drink, in his usual mug, which read _No. 1 ~~Dad~~ Creator, _ and was last year's Christmas gift from the boys. He had just been carefully carrying it back to his bedroom, when he heard unusual noises float down the corridor of the castle.

“Oh, Arin - fuck!”

He blinked, and listened closer to a string of grunts and profanities from nearby. The sound was, without a doubt, coming from his laboratory. Was that was he thought it was?

“Arin, please, don't stop!”

It couldn't be. It probably wasn't. If he looked in on them now, they would be assembling exercise equipment, or something equally innocuous. Classic sitcom trope. He kept walking past.

“Oh god, Arin, I'm gonna -”

And then, in an operatic falsetto that rang through the entire castle -

_“- OHHH, SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE, AT LAST I’VE FOUND YOOOU…”_

Brian raised a dadly eyebrow. Well, there was no mistaking that for anything else. He grinned at the door to his lab.

“That’s my boy,” he whispered, before sauntering off with his hot cocoa.

* * *

To say the next morning at the breakfast table was awkward was an understatement. Ross kept smirking at Dan. Brian kept beaming at Arin.

“Nice hickies, Daniel.”

Dan pulled the collar of his oversized t-shirt up a little with a red face, trying to pretend he was actually interested in his scrambled eggs. Technically, the shirt was Arin’s, and on Dan’s lanky frame it hung to his knees like a nightdress. He also had no pants on.

Brian tutted at his assistant. “Now now, Ross, don't tease Dan. After all, sex is a perfectly natural instinct for most beings, living or undead.”

Across from him, Arin’s appetite was as hearty as ever, and if anything, made ravenous by the night’s exertions. He was busy clearing his plate of its contents with gusto.

“In fact, I have gone one step further and improved nature,” continued Brian, proudly. “That's why I made both my creatures self-lubricating.”

Arin choked on a bit of bacon. Dan sank lower in his seat, wishing the ground would swallow him up, so he wouldn't have to be part of this conversation.

A look of realisation washed over Arin’s face. “Ohhh, so that explains the- uh, nevermind.” Arin quickly desisted at the look on his mate’s face, and went back to his hash browns.

Ross stopped mid-gulp of milk. “Well, that's one more thing I didn't need to know about these two, apart from the fact that Dan is a screamer.”

Dan threw his hands up in exasperation. “Does EVERYONE know?” Dan demanded, a furious shade of scarlet now.

“I heard noises last night, on the way back from the kitchen,” Brian admitted.

“I think they probably heard you in Uruguay,” Ross added cheerfully.

“Woof,” supplied Princess Tinkles, who was curled up next to the dining table, chewing at the enormous ham bone in its mouth.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Oh geez, even the dog knows.”

“Now, Dan, there's nothing to be ashamed of, it’s completely normal to have these urges,” Brian explained, in full Dad mode now. “Just make sure if you borrow anything from the lab, put it back where you found it when you're done.”

Arin's eyes lit up. “Really?”

Dan groaned, head in his hands. Ross leaned over to whisper into Arin’s ear, a conspiratorial grin plastered on his boyish face. Dan raised an eyebrow when hand motions started to come into play. Arin was listening, rapt, nodding with enthusiasm the entire time.

“Huh,” he said, at last, when Ross finished his lecture and went back to his fried tomatoes. “What’s a prostate?”

Dan buried his face in his arms.

“Just kill me now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Wondering was that operatic falsetto was? Watch this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q0HM1qjvyo)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to sunniapplepie and writergrump on tumblr for their invaluable inspiration, advice, and feedback.


End file.
